Thursday, November 2, 2017

Discussion: Cheating - is it a Deal Breaker?


This Week’s Topic: Cheating - Is it a Deal Breaker?

I like to read reviews after I have read a book, and when I was reading reviews for In Some Other Life, I was surprised to see how one plot point basically ruined the entire experience for so many readers. The plot point I am taking about, is the main character's boyfriend and her best friend carrying on behind her back. Yes friends, cheating. I am not a fan of cheating, but it did not spoil the whole book for me. Why? It was a jumping off point. It was that catalyst, that sent the MC into self-examination mode, and precipitated the entire alternate time line portion of the story. There was a lot of other story aside from the cheating, and I was able to enjoy those parts in their separate space. 

Another book, which suffered a similar wrath was 99 days. Although I thought the main character made a poor choice, it was not technically cheating. To paraphrase Ross, they were on a break.


In both these cases, I was ok with the "cheating", because those were the fire starters for what happened in the story, but not what the story was about.

How do you feel about cheating? Is it a deal breaker for you? 

Now it's your turn!


How do you feel about cheating? Is it a deal breaker for you?  
Let us know in the comments!

36 comments:

  1. Totally not a deal breaker for me. I actually really liked 99 Days. I mean I don't agree with cheating but it happens so I can deal with it in a book.

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    1. I feel like the "cheating" is blown out of proportion in 99 Days, and I am always disappointed when I read it in a story, but I guess I have yet to read a story where I was really enraged by it.

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  2. It's not a dealbreaker for me. I think it sucks when it happens, and it's so hurtful, but unfortunately, it's something a lot of people have dealt with, so it doesn't really bother me to see it in a book.

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    1. I agree. It's real. It happens, but I think my reaction has a lot to do with the whole circumstance surrounding the cheating in the books I have read. I just was able to see past it.

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  3. It's a deal breaker for me if it involves the main characters. It's just not for me.

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    1. I think it didn't bother me much at all in In Some Other Life, because it was the MC's boyfriend & best friend who cheated, and not the MC herself. But then again, in 99 Days, it was the MC, but because of the circumstances, I ended up being OK with it. I feel like maybe I haven't read a book where there was all out cheating yet.

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  4. It is not a deal breaker for me, although it has to be handled a certain way. Like I couldn't read a book and it not come to light in some sense the cheating.

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    1. I think you hit it on the head there. It is all about the way it is handled. The way the author sets it up and let's it play out. I need there to be some kind of unrest in the relationship prior to the cheating, and I need there to be consequences.

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  5. Your gif game is A+++!! Cheating is not a deal breaker for me at all. Some of my fave books are about cheating or have cheating as a major development in the plot. I think it matters how it is handled. I like books that deal with real life stuff-- and cheating is a real life thing that happens to a lot of people.

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    1. It was exciting to find the opportunity to use the "We were on a break" gif. I love the escape of books, but I agree, cheating is a real thing, and it happens. It's sad and disappointing, but how it impacts my reading experience definitely depends on what the author does with it. Usually, it the cheating sets the story in positive direction, I am ok, but if it's all darkness and disaster, I would probably get sad and moody about it,and give the book a lower rating. I just know how I am.

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  6. Great topic. I just abadoned a book this morning because I was digusted with the whole cheating theme. I was hoping it was a mistake and the character would redeem himself and that seemed the case until he told his wife he slept with woman after using lots of magic. Dealbreaker, done. I don’t always abandon a book for cheating, if there is a reason for it I will keep with it, but in this case, it was best to part ways.

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    1. I think in that situation, I would have been turned off too. When I think about it, all the books I have read with cheating, it was the event that lead to something positive and there were consequences too, which I think is really important if you are going to have something as negative as cheating in a story.

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  7. Cheating in a book is not a deal breaker for me. I personally hate cheating but it definitely happens and in terms of seeing it in a book, it can serve as a catalyst for character growth as we watch characters deal with the fallout from the cheating. Now it might turn into a deal breaker for me if the character who has been cheated on just sits around moping and whining the rest of the book.

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    1. That is what I am talking about! If it leads to something positive, that is ok. Everything you said - YES! It's how the author uses it and how it affects the story. In both my examples, it led to positive things.

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  8. Cheating is a painful reality and not something I would wish for anyone. With that being said in the context of a story it does not bother me as long as it is dealt with appropriately.

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    1. I am finding that a lot of people agree with us. It's about context and how it is handled.

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  9. So I've seen many bloggers voice their displeasure for cheating in novels and I'm trying to remember if I've ever read a book where there is cheating. I usually shy away from books with any sort of love triangles, but that's more commonly with unestablished relationships. I do think it would bother me if it was portrayed as somehow justified and was not unpacked by the author.

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    1. I would say, with the books I have read, cheating was not the main plot. It was part of the story that came up, but not the main focus. Perhaps that is why I am not too adverse to it.

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  10. Nah, definitely not a deal breaker for me. I mean, lots of unpleasant things happen in books, right? Like, I also wouldn't want to murder kids in an arena for a television show, but that doesn't mean I don't like The Hunger Games. This topic fascinates me, because people read about murder and illness and apocalyptic events, but cheating is where they draw the line? I really need someone to do a psychological study on this. Also, loved 99 Days!!

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    1. Isn't it funny how people respond to cheating? Maybe it's because that seems like something that is more likely to happen to them then being murdered or experiencing an apocalyptic event.

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  11. I think I need to know the circumstances for cheating. I mean, I don't love it as a storyline, but when written well I can accept it. I know folks hate it but I can accept it. I think the book has to be good, though. I know I struggled with the sort of cheating in 99 Days, not because there was sort of cheating but more because of the poor choices in the book really bothered me. If I just feel like a character is making bad choices I'm not going to like the cheating angle, if I think there's more to it than bad choice I'll let it go.

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    1. I agree, that the circumstances are important and also how the author utilizes the cheating to progress the story, but as far as 99 Days go, I thought it was a great jumping off point to explore the consequences, the double standard, that end of innocence. It changed so many things in the MCs life, and I think it was her turning point.

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  12. I don't like cheating but I think it can sometimes work in a story. It isn't necessarily a deal breaker for me.

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    1. Glad to see we have a sort of consensus here, that it is sometimes ok, depending on the circumstances.

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  13. No, cheating isn't a dealbreaker for me. I think such an emotional event like that is designed to shake things up and propel the story forward or in a different direction and I can't complain about that.

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    1. I concur. I feel like I am ok with most things if they serve a purpose in a story.

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  14. I actually really loved 99 Days! I don't find it to be a deal breaker because it is a real thing that happens in life. I know a lot of people didn't like 99 Days though but, IDK, I didn't hate it lol

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    1. I didn't hate it, because I thought Cotungo pieced the story together well. For me, the cheating was something the caused everything else to precipitate. It wasn't the focus for me, but I think when you are so passionate about something, have such a strong opinion about that thing, it is hard to see past it.

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  15. I haven't read either of those books, but generally speaking it is for me.

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    1. I have yet to read a book where it has totally put me off. I am sure there are some out there, I have just been lucky that the books I have read used the cheating in a way that advanced the story

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  16. Nope, not a deal breaker for me. Sometimes it can be a good jumping off point for the character to make some changes in their life, like you said. I did read In Some Other Life quite a long time ago now so I honestly don't remember too much but going over my review, it didn't bother me.

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    1. I am with you, but I think I feel like that about most things. If the "thing" moves the plot forward, I am ok, but if the authors just does it to do it or to create some sort of drama, I have trouble supporting that.

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  17. This is a great topic because lots of people have strong feelings about it. Cheating often is a deal breaker for me if it's the main character doing the cheating, I'll admit (I don't know that I'd feel the same about a book where the main character is the one who is cheated on). 99 Days was one where it really bugged me honestly, not just because of the cheating but because the main character didn't seem to learn from her mistakes at all. Sure, she made a mistake, but then she just KEPT on digging herself further and further in and... yeah, I just didn't enjoy reading that at all because I sort of wanted to shake her and wake her up.

    I have had a few books that I loved with cheating (Maybe Someday is the best example), but it has to be done REALLY well where I can relate to the character's struggles and feel a fantastic connection between the characters. Cheating is a big hurdle for me when it comes to that. I wrote a post a couple of years ago about how I think my personal life has affected my feelings about cheating. You can go visit it if you're interested!

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    1. Thanks for the link! I do think when the cheating is BY one of the main characters it would put a bad taste in my mouth too. Though, I also liked Maybe Someday, so there is something to be said for how it is written, and not just written, but utilized to move the story along. I also found the MC in 99 Days frustrating, in that she kept making poor choices, but in the end, she learned and grew from it all.

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  18. I really don't enjoy cheating in the books I'm reading. I don't like it in real life and it kind of pains me to read about it sometimes. I guess it is forgivable if it seems like there is a valid reason - maybe like being in a toxic relationship and just not having found a way out of it. But there was cheating in The Sky is Everywhere by Jandy Nelson and I felt like it was totally unnecessary and even though I didn't stop reading it greatly impacted my enjoyment of the novel for the worst :/

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    1. Cheating is sad, and not something I really understand. It's so funny you brought up Lennie and Toby. I did struggle with them in that book, but I thought Nelson built the case for it. The idea that they were in such pain and missing Lennie's sister so much, that they were seeking physical comfort from someone who knew her and understood what loss they were experiencing. I am not saying it was right, but at least she tried to justify it, and the conflict did bring the story somewhere. I just loved all the other parts of the story so much, I sort of let Nelson slide on it. She also didn't let it go too far, which I think would have totally changed my opinion.

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